What a Music Teacher Should — and Should Not — Do
A practical guide for parents and adult students.
As someone who had several teachers who used emotionally harmful methods, I want to offer a clear and practical guide for parents and adult students.
Healthy teaching is not mysterious. It is observable, consistent, and grounded in respect.
Below are the essential signs of a healthy teacher, and red flags that should never be ignored.
1. Parents should occasionally attend lessons
Even sitting quietly in the corner, reading or working, creates a sense of safety for the child.
You don’t need to be involved, just present. Children often become more reserved when parents are in the room (that’s normal), but teacher’s behavior must stay consistent, with or without parents present.
Some teachers appear warm and encouraging when parents are present, but once the child is alone, they switch to criticism, pressure, or comments that make the student feel inadequate.
This behavior is emotionally harmful, and it is not normal, not “strict teaching”, and not “motivation”.
If the teacher becomes colder, harsher, sarcastic, impatient, or overly intense only when you are not there, this is a clear sign something is wrong.
2. A teacher must never shame a student for what they don’t know
Students come to learn.
Not knowing something is not a failure — it is the starting point of all education.
A healthy teacher may correct, explain, or test knowledge, but they do not:
mock the student
roll their eyes
express disappointment
compare them to “better” students
punish them for not understanding something immediately
Shame is not a teaching method.
It destroys confidence and stops real learning from happening.
3. Talent myths should not be used to discourage students
“Talent” stories are beautiful, but they are often misleading.
Music, especially an instrument like the cello, is 99% consistent work and 1% innate ability.
A teacher must never say:
“You will never play as well as X.”
“This is for talented students only.”
“You just don’t have it.”
These messages are emotionally damaging and scientifically incorrect.
Skill is built — not gifted.
4. Practicing habits don’t define a child’s value
A student who practices once a week is not a “bad student”.
They are simply a student whose goals differ.
Not every child needs to become a professional musician — and that’s perfectly fine.
Some children play once a week for joy. Others practice daily because they aim for conservatory.
Both are valid.
A teacher must understand the student's goals rather than impose their own.
5. Your child deserves emotional safety as much as musical skills
A good teacher:
respects the child’s dignity
adapts to their learning pace
encourages questions
explains technique in ways the child can understand
builds confidence, not anxiety
A great teacher develops both the musician and the human being.
Final words
Teaching a musical instrument is not just about technique, it is about the emotional environment in which a student grows.
Students flourish not under fear, but under clarity, encouragement, and respect.
And every child (and adult) deserves to learn that way. 🩵